Emotion regulation is about managing your feelings in response to things that happen in your relationship life so that you can stay calm and keep things in perspective. You may find your gorgeous, suburban, outdoor-loving, musician, but if he/she doesn’t treat you well, forget it.
as one year mark getting close, i poped this question with my bf-" do you think we are right for each other? am i being pushy to ask something like that being together 1 year?
My boyfriend, Jeremiah, and I celebrated our one year (dating) anniversary on November 10th. Different schedules, and long spans of time apart due to travel, and different ideas about the best way to spend time together can be deal-breakers. Go as long as you can without breaking the barrier. If she says it’s fine, because she’s not one of those “high-maintenance girls”, but you can see her eye twitching as she talks, don’t take the bait. Even if she takes it a step further and farts in front of you, it’s a trap. Like you find them valuable enough to go out of your way for them. When you can freely lift your hands and sing loudly and praise God side-by-side with your partner, you can take on the world together.
That story has a happy ending, when Ben overcomes his nuptial fears and proposes to Jennifer. I know that what I’m about to tell you is probably going to be really harmful to a lot of women, but I believe in being totally honest with my readers, so here goes. If you choose curtain option number one, you will join the legions of frustrated and disappointed who have made the same choice, and eventually find yourself back on the dating scene, scarred, bitter, and several years older competing against a whole new crop of young, bubbly, playmates.
I personally know several couples who dated for five years or more and finally did get married (and are still happily married). Because I might have just given women stuck in dead end relationships which will never lead to marriage the false hope that they too will be one of those success stories, and the motivation (or excuse) to hang in their for another couple of years (or more). If you’re in a relationship with a man who is unable to ask for your hand in marriage, you have two choices:1. If you are in your mid thirties, staying in a dead end relationship could be socially, and maternally, suicidal.
If it doesn’t happen by your one year anniversary, I’d say it’s time to “go on now go, walk out the door”. I can’t see a good reason to be engaged for more than a few months or for as long as it takes to plan your perfect wedding. And by the way, the same applies to guys dating girls that won’t commit.
Unless the guy is in the middle of med school (or the equivalent), he shouldn’t need more than 6 months to at least make a to marry you in the near future. If you can’t get clarity by then, chances are extremely high that it will never happen.
Ladies, before you get too excited let me tell you two things about those success stories:1. I can only imagine the frustration and pain they constantly had to suffer as year after year flew by with nothing more to show for than some I love you’s and promises of impending engagement, as they watched their friends walk down the wedding aisle one by one.
Can you handle that pain, day after day, for years? The women eventually gave their men a choice: marry me or lose me. They cut their guys off, cold turkey, no making up, getting back together, trying again.
And it doesn’t hurt that Jeremiah makes himself very easy to love. No matter how badly you want to post pictures on Facebook of the flowers he got you, or tweet about the restaurant he brought you to, or instagram a picture of you riding piggy-back, or text your friend about how he’s your soulmate…don’t. If you want him to make you feel special, then start by making him feel special and giving him your undivided time and attention.
The year has been exciting, emotional, challenging, frustrating, enchanting, surprising, and about 45 other adjectives that range from great to gosh-awful. And it has been one of the greatest learning experiences of my life. Don’t put your phone on the table while you’re eating.
" Now I believe I was crazy, asking a guy that after 3 months, but he didn't say he didn't know (although it would have been the normal thing to say); he said that we got along just fine up until that point and he sees no reason why things shouldn't go on the same way. Loving someone doesn't necessarily mean you will end up together, but still, you know how you stand. lol Everybody wonders from time to time, but whether we need to verbalize that is another story!